Shut Up, I’m Still Writing


Recluse – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recluse

recluse is a person who lives in voluntary seclusion from the public and society. The word is from the Latin recludere, which means “shut up” or “sequester.

*********************************************************************

My head has been talking to me again.

It does that a lot.

People ask me what it feels like to write.

So I tell them….this. It feels like the noise in my head must be immediately transferred to paper, ironically, I’m just typing here, no hand-written stuff. I suppose it’s the same with all creative types, the expression of that creativity is what is different. I tend to over-analyze, think too much and take everything personally. This might make me appear somewhat self-centered, and I suppose all writers are to an extent. I’ve mentioned being observant and a good listener and somewhat self-absorbed and reclusive.

Oh, yes, reclusive…

My most outstanding quality.

I’m also very noise sensitive. Even my cat’s equally self-centered meowing is sometimes enough to throw me off. But I don’t hold it against her. From her point of view behind my chair, all she sees is my back, my hands moving mysteriously on some weird-looking thing that makes strange clicking noises and she can hear me sighing, and muttering out loud as I try out different words to see how they sound before I put them in a sentence.

Sometimes, anything louder than a meow will send me over the edge. Right when I’m in the middle of something really profound, the phone will ring, the door will knock, the street traffic will be exceptionally loud and I can hear the birds outside my window plotting to disrupt my train of thought.

But as reclusive as I may be in those creative moments, I am never anti-social, those are the times when I make a point of getting out, even just going for a walk to clear my head, or find some inspiration and get everything back in the right perspective.

Sometimes I feel the ‘Writers’ Curse’ as I like to call it. Those times when I am overly critical of my writing and I have trouble believing that everything is as it should be. I try not to worry about it too much, I think some writers must actually go insane doing that and have other writers write about them and then Jack Nicholson gets a phone call, and the first thing you know, there’s a movie with a sinister plot and a haunted hotel….

One of the hardest things I face as a writer is seeing my writing through the eyes of my readers. Perhaps this is why writers like to hang out together. It gives us the necessary feedback from similar-minded people. Only a writer can really understand the mind of another writer.

So when people ask me when it all began for me, I tell them it began as soon as I was old enough to think and realize that everything has a story behind it, and if it doesn’t, I’ll write one anyway. All you really have to understand about me as a writer is this; everything I write is deliberate. Everything.

It doesn’t matter how brilliant I am on any given day, or what else I’m doing, or with whom. It only matters that I write, because sometimes, that’s all there is.

I write because I must.

The voices tell me too.

And I’m a good listener.

*********************************************************************

P.S.

Just a final note:

pred·i·cate

/ˈpredikət/

Noun
The part of a sentence or clause containing a verb and stating something about the subject (e.g., went home in John went…
Verb
State, affirm, or assert (something) about the subject of a sentence or an argument of proposition.
Synonyms
affirm – assert – allege – aver – maintain – declare

(Thank you Dictionary.com)

Advertisements

Talk to me!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s