How To Survive A Zombie Attack

I have a confession.

You make me want to be a better writer.

Soooooo, I went and bought a book on English Grammar Drills and I’m having a blast working my way through all 150 exercises.

I’m sorry, I love grammar. Don’t blame me. It’s in the blood. But I’ll get to the zombie part later.

Nouns, adjectives, articles, post-noun modifiers, pronouns, subjects and predicates, gerunds and infinitives, noun clauses, verb tenses, simple verb complements, multiple verb complements, adverbs…..I’m feeling all tingly.

I never knew about count and noncount nouns till I got this book. Regular plurals and irregular plurals were the stuff of nightmares. Possessive nouns are what I called my ex-boyfriends…Dare I get into comparative and superlative adjectives? How about multiple true adjectives?

And then there’s articles….oh please, hold me back….definite, indefinite, it’s all music to my ears.

Post-noun modifiers are way more fun than a trip to the zoo. Pronouns, hhmm, yes pronouns, absolutely yummy!

Gerunds and infinitives are verb forms used as nouns.  How fun is that? Noun clauses are way more fun than even Christmas…

Oh, I’m sorry, I’m being so rude…. I forgot to get you a coffee, you’re going to need it. Trust me…

Aww, verbs, base, present, past, infinitive, present participle and past participle…WOWIE-WOW! Present perfect tenses, progressive tenses, future perfect, I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Everyone appreciates a compliment, including verbs, spelt, complements, of course.. All zero-complement verbs are action verbs. Who knew?

Adverbs modify something, such as verbs, adjectives and other adverbs. But, you already knew that, I’m sure.

If it wasn’t for all this grammar stuff, I wouldn’t be here writing anything. I wouldn’t know how.

I can’t believe I got through all this in school.

And that is where the zombies come in. Ya, I know, I made you read all that stuff, just to get here. No fair, sue me…

If it wasn’t for all the biking, bowling, yoga, walking and other stuff I do when I’m not writing, talking about writing, reading about writing, hanging out with writers, doing writing exercises, and contemplating dangling participles….I would most certainly be a total zombie.

Moral of the story: When fighting zombies, the pen is indeed mightier than the sword.


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