From the moment Mom and Dad told me in no uncertain terms: ‘We are your Parents, NOT your friends’, that seemed to pave the way for how I looked at friendship for the rest of my life.
Oh, I know, I know, nowadays, parents
want to be friends, wait, should I say, NEED to be friends with their kids, and their kids friends, while keeping their kids’ friends parents at arms length, because they, in so many ways are NOT your friends, or your kids friends friends either.
I’m glad my parents had the insight to make that distinction. It’s an important one. Over the years I had many ‘friends’ come and go, but my parents remained exactly where I left them, unwavering, totally reliable and willing to commit to something a bit more solid than just ‘being friends’.
I always liked reading and writing as a kid and could keep myself amused for hours and didn’t much care if I had ‘friends’ around me or not. I had my childhood dog to hang out with, my Nancy Drew books, the original ones I might add, I had my Parents, and I had one or two ‘friends’ whose parents were also their parents and NOT their friends.
Hey it’s okay, I learned early in life to go out and make my own friends because I certainly wasn’t going to find it among my sparse family. I had their support, their love, their total sense of responsibility, but never their friendship. I found other people were sometimes handy for being friends with and some remained friends longer than others.
I miss that about childhood. If you were wearing the same sweater, eating the same ice cream, liked the same shows on TV, you were instantly friends. No questions asked. But those friendships were fleeting and shallow and disappeared with the passing of time. Most of them…
I find the friends I do have left are some of the ones I have known since childhood, at least many of them. I have made new ones as I travel down that road, I make friends where I find them but they often have a different path to take and these friendships end as suddenly as they began.
I miss some of my friends that I haven’t seen in awhile and are not likely to see again anytime soon.
Everyone who passes through my life at any given time for what ever reason has something to offer. I can learn from all of them.
I like to think of all the friends I haven’t met yet, however fleeting our friendship may be.
Do I ever wish my parents had been my friends?
They were my parents, able to reach me on a level my friends could not.
I don’t know where a lot of my friends are but I know exactly where my parents are.
They are right where I left them.
Always have been, always will be. They aren’t going anywhere.